Stubborn Love is a Good Thing. We Could All Use More of It

Being stubborn is not always thought of as a good thing. However, as Calvin Coolidge pointed out, persistence can be one of the most important virtues.

In terms of human endeavor, perseverance helps us hang in there and accomplish things. It even applies to our love life. Sometimes, the best kind of love is the stubborn kind. Stubborn love will throw its arms around the unlovable, the underdog, and the unlikely… And it won’t let go!

Just think about Ruth. Her story resonates through the centuries as a wonderful example. It starts in tragedy and ends in… Well, let’s just see where it goes!

Orpah and Ruth were sisters from Moab who married two brothers, the sons of Elimelech and Naomi. These girls left Moab and their families behind, and moved to Judea to make a life among strange people in a strange land. As it happened, both of these brothers and Elimelech up and died. (If you’re keeping score at home, that means Orpah and Ruth’s husbands died, and so did their Father-in-law.) Suddenly both the two younger women and their mother-in-law were thus tragically widowed.

Bad to Worse

Now, the prospects for a widow in that place and time were not good. The prospects for a widow with no children was even worse. Poverty was likely at best, and at worst women were subject to misuse without a man to protect them. (Yes I hear you strong women protesting, but it was a fairly primitive time. Women had far fewer options in ancient Judea than they do in America today.)

Naomi had decided to leave Moab and go back to her own people and try to live out her days on their charity. In all likelihood, she would remain a lonely, heartbroken woman. The chances of finding a suitable husband for her younger daughter-in-laws was remote if they stayed with Naomi, so Naomi urged the girls to go back to Moab and try to find a husband.

A Surprising decision

Orpah did the sensible thing. She looked at their situation, kissed her mother-in-law and left. But Ruth ignored logic and being sensible. She took stock of her situation and made a decision that has resonated through the centuries. “Ruth said: “Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.” (Ruth 1:16, New King James)

Ruth stubbornly refused to leave Naomi, and stayed by her side for a journey back to an unknown land and an uncertain future. There she got to work in dry, dusty fields alongside beggars and slaves, picking up scraps that the harvesters left behind. This story could have gone wrong in so many ways, and yet it turned into an amazing story of redemption and hope when Ruth was noticed by Boaz, who bought the rights to both Ruth and Naomi to act as their kinsman-redeemer, marrying Ruth and reestablishing Naomi’s family name.

A Stubborn Decision

Ruth’s stubborn love for Naomi seemed destined to force her into obscurity and poverty, but instead it opened doors and changed her life completely; and did you know it also changed Israel’s future, and sent ripples through the pond of history that have touched all of its banks, and have even touched you and me?

If you like connecting the dots, Ruth had a son named Obed, who was the grandfather of King David. So, if you have ever been encouraged by a Psalm, then you have been touched by Ruth’s stubborn love. If you have ever profited from a Proverb (written by David’s son), then you have been touched by Ruth’s stubborn love. Her simple act of faithfulness to her mother-in-law turned into an eternal legacy, one that is influencing me right now. It’s also therefore touching YOU.

I have been the blessed recipient of stubborn love several times, including parents who never absolutely despaired, and an amazing wife who has loved me in spite of myself, and who never gave up on me. And, oh yeah, there was love so stubborn that a brutal whipping couldn’t stop it, the temptation to turn aside couldn’t end it, and a crucifixion couldn’t diminish it. May you, too, find stubborn love in the midst of a thoughtless, temporary and selfish world.

The Best Kind of Love

Naomi’s husband died, and then she lost her sons as well;
Her loss and grief were greater than she had the words to tell.
She told her dead sons’ widows both to leave her there behind,
So they could build a better life and find some peace of mind.
Orpah left. But Ruth said, “Mother, both of us will grieve.
But please, Naomi, in your grief, entreat me not to leave!
No matter what will come our way, there’s one thing you can know:
Wherever you stay, I’ll stay, and I will go wherever you go.

Our prospects are uncertain, and our future may be flawed,
But your people will be my people and your God will be my God.”
Naomi realized then that Ruth just could not be got rid of,
And acquiesced to be blessed by Ruth’s stubborn, stubborn love.

To buy my latest book, Real People, Real Christmas: Thirty-one Days Discovering the Hidden Treasures of the Christmas Story, go here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1729034918/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
For Slaying Giants: Thirty Days with David, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Slaying-Giants-Thirty-Devotions-Ordinary/dp/172568327X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535814431&sr=8-1&keywords=Slaying+Giants%3A+Thirty+Days+With+David
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Loyalty so Stubborn That It Led to a Surprising Redemption

Even though Matthew’s genealogy featured women, starting with Rahab the harlot, not all of the women mentioned in the Messiah’s line were prostitutes. Matthew’s genealogy refers next to a grieving widow, two destitute women, and the touching story of how a young woman’s stubborn loyalty led to surprising redemption.

The third woman mentioned in Matthew 1:5 is Ruth, a young woman from Moab who married a man from Bethlehem. Moabites descended from Abraham’s nephew Lot, so they were somewhat akin to Israel, even though they worshipped other gods and fought wars with Saul, David and Solomon. Despite their cultural differences, young Moabite women like Ruth were acceptable as brides to young Hebrew men.

Tragic Circumstances

The four Chapter book of the Bible bearing her name was set in the period of the Judges, sometime around 1200-1100 BC. When both her father-in-law and her husband died, Ruth faced the harsh reality of living in a somewhat primitive masculine culture without any male protection. Her sister-in-law Orpah’s husband also died, so the whole family was facing the same bleak prospects of life without male protection.

While the untimely deaths of two brothers and a father-in-law left Ruth and her sister-in-law in dire straits, it impacted their mother-in-law Naomi even more. She was now the head of a household without male protection or income. She (sensibly) told Ruth and Orpah to leave her and return back to their own people and their gods. Naomi reasoned that her own prospects for remarriage late in life were nonexistent (which certainly guaranteed her household a life of poverty), and so she told Ruth and Orpah that they should go back to their own people, find a husband, and make a new life. It was the practical thing to do.

Lamentation and Love

Orpah agreed with Naomi’s sad but practical advice and went home. But Ruth made a decision that changed everything. She decided to stay with Naomi.
Ruth’s statement to her mother-in-law after making this decision is one of the most oft-quoted Old Testament statements about love and loyalty:

“And Ruth said,
Entreat me not to leave thee,
or to return from following after thee:
for whither thou goest I will go,
and where thou lodgest, I will lodge;
thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
where thou diest, I will die, and there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
if aught but death part thee and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17, NKJV)


Rather than returning to her own people, Ruth expressed such love for Naomi that she was willing to stay by her side even though they faced hardship and a very questionable future.

A Turn of Events

Ruth’s story takes an amazing turn when she is gathering leftover ears of grain with other paupers. Generous farmers allowed poor people to follow the reapers and harvest the scraps they missed. Her industry (and probably her beauty) caused her to be noticed by Boaz, the owner of the field.

Boaz was a kinsman of Naomi’s deceased husband, and custom allowed destitute relatives to gather leftover scraps of the harvest in order to survive. Naomi seems to know something of Boaz, and she may have had more than a little bit of a scheme going on by getting Ruth into Boaz’ field. By the same token, Boaz is aware of Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi, and very favorably impressed not only by this familial loyalty but by Ruth herself.

Redemption: from Lost to Loved

This love story has a beautiful ending. Ruth and Naomi are rescued from poverty when Boaz, acting in his role as a kinsman redeemer, pays the costs to secure the right to marry Ruth and start a family. The law allowed the nearest kinsman to rescue a relative from poverty. As Boaz observed Ruth, he was very favorably impressed with her work ethic as well as her beauty. He fell in love with her. Naomi actually exercised some feminine wiles to help facilitate the romance, but in the end it did work out for Ruth and Boaz. They were married and their son Obed was King David’s grandfather.

Let’s make a couple of observations: Naomi’s somewhat transparent scheming was not subverted or rejected by God. She thought about things, made decisions and took action, and yet still somehow found herself guided by the Lord’s hand. I would say that discovering God’s will does not always require us to sit passively by while we wait for Him to act. In fact, I think He even honors those who pursue His favor with passion in an imperfect way.

Kinsman Redeemer

Second, the role of kinsman redeemer was apparently common knowledge to Naomi, Boaz, and the other people in their village. The women even sing about Naomi’s good fortune in having a kinsman in 4:14. We are going to take a deeper look at Boaz and his response as Ruth’s (and Naomi’s) redeemer tomorrow, but suffice it to say that this love story built on humility, loyalty, perseverance (and perhaps Naomi’s feminine wiles) is not put in Christ’s lineage by accident.

This series of events points to David—who obviously got some of his passion and love from his great-grandmother—and to Jesus the Messiah, who would both preach about and be characterized by these qualities. The inclusion of a Moabite woman points to the coming Messiah’s inclusion of people outside of Israel (which, as we noted, started with Rahab from Jericho). The story of her being rescued by a kinsman redeemer is a flashing neon sign announcing that the Messiah’s work will redeem the disadvantaged, the dispossessed, the downcast… If you’ve ever been in one of those categories, or are now, take heart: the Redeemer has come, and he wants to rescue you.

Naomi’s Redemption

Naomi’s life was stripped of joys:
Her husband died, and then her boys;
She faced a future full of grief without much prospect of relief…
She told her daughters-in-law to leave
And build their lives; Yes, she would grieve,
But they should go and carry on while she remained behind, alone.

And one of them took the open door;
It just made sense. They’d be so poor,
And living would be a daily grind: but one of them remained behind.
Naomi had told the girls the truth, so now she really questioned Ruth:
She said she shouldn’t waste her youth
By living on a widow’s mite. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t right.
But Ruth could only shake her head. She hugged Naomi. Then she said:
“Please do not entreat me to forsake or ever leave Thee.
I’ll stay with you forever, though the valley be so low;
Though this life may break you, this my love will not forsake you.
I will love Thy God, and there is one thing you should know…
So listen to what I have to say: Whither thou stayest, I will stay,
And from this moment, come what may, whither thou goest, I will go.”

To buy my latest book, Real People, Real Christmas: Thirty-one Days Discovering the Hidden Treasures of the Christmas Story, go here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1729034918/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
For Slaying Giants: Thirty Days with David, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Slaying-Giants-Thirty-Devotions-Ordinary/dp/172568327X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535814431&sr=8-1&keywords=Slaying+Giants%3A+Thirty+Days+With+David
To buy my book, Beggar’s Bread, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Beggars-Bread-Devotions-Ordinary-Guy/dp/1535457392/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473336800&sr=8-1&keywords=Beggar%27s+Bread